The Joys of Pregnancy

You know, it's funny about this whole pregnancy thing. Sometimes, I feel like I'm putting on an act, doing what everyone else thinks I should be doing in relation to being pregnant and acting like I feel like they say I'm supposed to feel. Honestly, I spend half the day confused over what's going on, and the other half trying to catch up on the sleep and feel less exhausted. I cringe over the thought of never getting back into my suits (which I love and stare dreamily at in my closet every once in awhile), and wonder what the heck I got myself into. I remember wanting a baby very badly when we started trying, and I remember all of the frustration when things weren't going right, and I still smile when I see little ones out and about (saw the cutest little girl at the Dodger game last night), but I just don't feel as happy and bubbly as people think I'm supposed to. Does that make me a bad person? But, then again, others have said that I'm glowing... maybe that's just the light reflecting off the glaze from the doughnut I had for breakfast?
I will say that I can't STAND it when people rub my stomach. I hate people invading my personal space to begin with (my hubby excluded, of course), but I get random people walking up and wanting to touch me. ugh! I also am getting slightly annoyed with my mother in law, who seems to want to do it every time she sees me. It's all I can do not to cringe and back away. ARGH!!!! I realize that she's excited about having a grandchild, and a little girl, no less. But come on... how many times do you have to touch me?!?!?! What happens to people that they think it's o.k.? It wouldn't be o.k. if I walked up to them and started rubbing their stomachs! So why, just because I'm carrying an extra person around, does my stomach suddenly become fair game? oy!

Cars, Car Seats and Strollers, Oh my!

Yesterday, I got the new, official "Mommy-Mobile." We traded in one SUV for a new one. My hubby graciously took over driving my little Celica (which I already miss), and will one of these days trade that in for something a little more family oriented. (But still cool.) Just one of the many sacrifices we as parents make... giving up the "cool" sports cars until the kids are out of car seats. (And then listening to them tell us all about how they want to drive our cool cars when they turn 16.)

I checked out Babies R Us the other day and there is just too much on the market! Between the car seats and the carriers and the strollers and the play pens..... AAAAAAHHHHHHH. A person could lose their mind! I had a plan when I went in, and as soon as they handed me the scanner, the plan went out the window. How was I supposed to carry the lists and guides they provide, and my notes, and my book with the ratings, and the scanner, and still have a free hand to see how heavy the stuff would be to carry and fold and.... and.... I finally gave up the ghost and will just have to return with reinforcements. My hubby always liked those scanner things anyway.

On a sort of related note, I've been trying to get myself mentally ready for this whole new experience. I keep getting stuck on the physical aspects of it though. The thought that there is a little life is growing inside me is enough to set my stomach into flip-flops (or is that her kicking me?). Taking it one step further, and thinking about actually giving birth, well, that's enough to make me stop thinking about it. I just can't wrap my head about the thought of the little one actually coming out of me. That, again, enough to flip the stomach.

So, in the meantime, I just keep checking to see how much the waistband has expanded, and fret about the lack of decent looking maternity clothes on the market. My mother-in-law pegged it when she said that she always thought that maternity clothes were designed by men who didn't like women or hated their mothers. I agree. In the meantime, I'll have to convince the boss of the office where I'll be headed back to work on Monday, that shorts and tank tops are acceptable office attire. (yeah, right.)

Getting Started

Having finally gotten around to setting up a blog (and having the time to actually write), I now sit here drawing a complete blank. At 3 a.m., when I can't sleep, I can think of lots of things to say. In broad daylight, not so much.

Right now, I am four and a half months pregnant, hanging out at home without a job. (I had one up until a month and a half ago, but that's another story for another day.) Today I paid some bills and compared the pros and cons of the newest SUVs online. Oh so glamorous for the "big city" attorney that some think I am.

We found out on Tuesday that we are expecting a little girl. Lots of pink in our futures. We had the 18 week 3-D ultrasound, and I have to admit that in some of the pictures, I have no idea what I am looking at. But she's precious just the same. I had to get my head around the whole "girl" thing, having already convinced myself that it was a boy (and in the process, convincing myself that my husband would be taking care of the potty training down the road.)

This is our first little one, so we are stumbling along with goofy grins on our faces, hoping that we aren't missing anything or forgetting to do something in preparation that we should. We haven't registered yet, but the offers to host showers are already coming in. I suppose I'll need to do my homework and find the safest crib, stroller and car seats to add to my lists. Of course, if I read three books, I will inevitably get three different opinions, and if I talk to several people, I'll have that many more. I find myself leaning on friends who have gone before me, their adorable little ones almost 2 or already 2 years old, and grasping for their advice.

I can only imagine how strange the next few months are going to be, as I get bigger and walking becomes an art form. (I still haven't tried out the golf clubs with the ever widening tummy, but I think that will be good for a laugh one of these days.) My most pressing job for the next few days, will be to find a dress to wear to a friend's wedding this weekend. If I could design clothes, I would come up with a maternity line that fell somewhere between the Hollywood moms and a mumu. At this point, I can't seem to find anything that would fall in that category.

Until my next bout of writer's block...